Comedians are talking about the before and after, friends are talking about it, too, and some people are just glad to get back to some kind of normal, yet finding themselves awake and worried at night for ‘no apparent reason.’ No doubt we feel more vulnerable, and rightly so. We learned that life cannot be controlled, even as we put more and more controls in place. I’ve talked to so many people who said they were about to launch something new in the spring of 2020, then blam. Nope! Me too.
Whenever a ‘lifequake’ (Bruce Feiler, Life is in The Transitions) rocks our world, no matter its nature, it’s normal - and human - to feel like the days before the event were better. We move along in life within familiar operating patterns, alongside our hopes and dreams. When these patterns and dreams are derailed, it pulls the proverbial rug from under us. It’s one thing when it’s a ‘personal’ event and quite another when it’s a global event.
The 5 stages of grief are real and essential to healing in order to move on. It’s only potentially problematic when we get stuck in a mental or trap, sure that the time before was better.
What happens when you compare the past to the present and the present comes up short? It reduces your capacity to respond with resilience to the present. There was so much collective hope for the year 2020 (mistaken hope, but hope nonetheless), that the shock of what the pandemic wrought was immense. And real.
When I wrote Business from Bed in 2011 for business owners recovering from a significant health crisis, I addressed this via what I called The Comparison Trap. We bring it forward here.
In this episode, I asked Stephie the following questions that you might ask yourself if you, too, are feeling surprisingly stuck and unable to move on. When you can articulate what you haven’t yet fully grieved, and consider the gifts of such an event - there are always gifts - you can more easily shift into “Okay, what now?”
Q1: What were YOU like before 2020?
Q 2 and 3: How were things ‘better?’ What were you able to do without much effort?
Q4: What do you miss the most, now?
Q5: How would you describe your relationships before and after the lock down?
Q6: What are the unexpected benefits of the shift we’ve experienced? What are you carrying forward with you?
Feel free to comment and share your own experience. We welcome it!
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